A Micro-Journal by T.S. Bauk
THIS IS MY MICRO-JOURNAL AND THESE ARE MY RULES
Reasons Why I Can't Keep a Journal, and Ways to Get it to Work This Time
If everything goes according to plan, this website will be the first journal I've ever kept up with in my life. I've destroyed many an attempted journal in the past, usually by ripping at single entry to shreds months after abandoning my new journal.
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This time, though, it's going to work. I know it's going to work, first, because I'm calling it a micro-journal to indicate to myself that I'm doing something different this time and it's not a big deal.
Second, I know it's going to work because I thought about the things that have been keeping me from journaling consistently, and I've found ways to troubleshoot my behavior.
Here's what I've been doing wrong, (and you'll find the new parameters at the bottom):
1. I MISUNDERSTOOD THE PURPOSE OF JOURNALING
This isn't about you.
Like many in the current generations, my first introduction to journaling was the Diary of Anne Frank. Because I, another person in another time and place, was reading thoughts that Anne wrote only for herself, I assumed that the purpose of journaling was to record your thoughts for future generations. As a result, I've always been conscious of my "audience" when journaling.
In thinking of possible readers, however, I'm missing the point. The point of journaling, for me anyway, is not to record things for other people to read.
Journaling is a way for me to process and understand my experiences, to explore my thoughts in an organized way, to express my emotions in a healthy and productive way, and to write things down that I want to remember. In a way I already have a journal in the form of emails I have sent to myself so that I'll remember one thing or another. All this is is collecting all the notes and memories and ideas and forwarded resources to reflect on later in one place so that I can access it at any time.
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Therefore, rule number one of journaling is that you must not shape or sanitize yourself for an imagined reader. Assume that no one is going to read your journal. Pretend these are emails in your private email account going only to yourself. Don't flinch. Be clear with yourself. Capture the thoughts in words so you can remember them later. ​
2. I'VE BEEN AFRAID THAT I MIGHT WRITE SOMETHING THAT WILL MAKE ME CRINGE LATER.
It's okay to try things, to like things, to believe things, to love things with all your heart, to want things, to imagine things that aren't there, to misunderstand things, and to be sincere. None of these things are crimes. None of these things are sins. The make you an adorable, quirky, lovable, imperfect you.
Put your true self into everything you do, and you don't need to be embarrassed. Embarrassment must come from seeing yourself through others eyes, and finding yourself to be wanting.
But remember, this isn't for people to like or not like.
Don't be afraid to be silly or unpalatable. This is you reminding yourself of what you found significant at a moment in time. If these things seem silly or unpalatable at some point in the future, that's great. That is a sign of growth and change. Embrace the fact that there are ugly, silly, imperfect little parts of you. And embrace the fact that you may change over time. That is how it is supposed to be.
Don't be afraid to make a mistake or to be wrong. You have been wrong before, and you will be again. Remember that you are only one human and there are limits to your knowledge, perception, and understanding. There is no shame in that, because no one can expect you to be more. Just be willing to change your mind when you find that you've been wrong.
3. I'VE SET THE BAR FOR A "GOOD" JOURNAL ENTRY TOO HIGH.
Humans are imperfect, and it turns out you're human.
Journal entries do not have to be polished drafts. They can be jotted notes.
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They do not have to be complete ideas. They can be thought fragments for you to use later.
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Journal entries do not have to be well-written. They can be clumsily worded or hard to decipher, yet they still serve the purpose of expression and processing reality.
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Just write something. It doesn't have to be good. An awkward something is better than an elegant nothing.
4. I TRY TO DO TOO MUCH.
A single paragraph is better than a thorough essay that never gets written.
Stop trying to write novels and books and other big, intricate projects. You are setting expectations too high and you are scaring yourself.
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Write every day, for a short period of time, so that you begin to understand that journaling doesn't have to be a huge effort. It can be a quick note, a single sentence.
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You are creating a habit, not a masterpiece. The habit creates familiarity. And then when it comes time to create the masterpiece you will not be overwhelmed.
SO THE RULES ARE:
1. Write every day, at least once. Tag your required daily writing as "daily entry."
2. Daily entries are one paragraph or 15 minutes of writing. You can write more if you want.
3. At the end of your daily entry write your topic for the next day. You can keep a running list of topics as you come up with them.
4. You may write a second category of entry of things you want to help yourself remember. When you have an idea you want to remember, an experience you want to work through, or a video you want to save to watch again, go ahead and write an entry. Tag these as "FFR" or "for future reference."
5. Don't complicate things. Rules 1-4 are the only organizational schemes you need to follow. If you need prompts or ideas for topics, seek them out, but resist the urge add themes or start a big project. Remember 365 daily paragraphs is better than a memoir or book of literary criticism you never wrote.
6. Don't sanitize yourself. Don't think about potential readers. This isn't for them; this isn't about them. First and foremost, this is resource for you. Write so that it is honest and accurate. Write so that it is complete. Write so that it is useful.
7. Don't worry about embarrassing yourself. Let your true self be at home here, uncensored and without judgment. Get your ideas out there in the best way you can. Embrace the fact that some of them will be weird. That is how it is supposed to be. It creates space for happy accidents.
8. Don't edit. This isn't school and this isn't your job. No one is grading you and no one is expecting perfection. Just get your point across.
9. Don't feel like you have to have a 10th rule. Have fun. This is a gingerbread house. It is made of candy and will be gone tomorrow.