July 21 Daily Entry -- Ghosts

There was the same woman on her way to work, the back of her hair teased up, looking worried.

There was a tall skinny man I had seen before, hunched over a table, texting.

There was the blond woman reading with her iced tea and breakfast. A man with glasses quietly journaling. I felt a kinship with these people. They get the same thing out of the park that I do.

There were two panhandlers I'd seen before. One that I once crankily told I couldn't give him money because too many people had asked me that day. (I am still ashamed of this moment, but I know he has forgotten it.)

now keep easily available.)

I watched them avoid a twitchy man on the edge of the park. This man glared at everyone passing him, occasionally yelling at phantoms. Whatever world this man was in was a world that none of us wanted to enter.

Just when the panhandlers passed I noticed a family--two parents, a teenage girl, and a pre-teen boy. They were laughing with each other over a picture the dad had taken of the son, and you could tell they were happy and secure. They loved each other and enjoyed each other's company.

Watching this family I began to cry, overcome by how pure and beautiful this family was. I wondered if they even knew what they had. The rest of us in the park that morning would probably trade any number of prized possessions to be one of them. To be allowed to sit at their table.

It's funny watching these people who I recognize in some small part. It makes me feel at home, but as if I am on the other side of a glass. As if I were watching a moment frozen in time, and could only look at the still and silent figures.

I had thought that they were the ghosts, that I was here watching the ghosts of pasts and possibilities. But maybe I am the ghost.