Nov 1 Daily Entry -- The ant on the sink

Sometimes I kill the ant. But the next day he is back. Replaced. Always one, never two.

I think that I create this ant with my mind. I believe there is supposed to be an ant on the sink in this reality, and so there he is. An ant of my choosing. There because I want him to be.

The "I" behind the scene. The subconscious. Like the iceberg below the tip. A whole, gigantic, connected rooted being behind me, operating me from the shadows.

The thoughts at the top of my mind don't matter. My worries and my to do list. But the Being beneath. It is me, that being. It is large, and rooted deeply into a cosmic ground. It is part of a root system of consciousness. Part of a larger being.

That Being beneath--IT is the one whose thoughts create my reality--not the being at the top of my head.

I can feel this Being emerging, expanding, spreading beyond my conscious mind. It is a vast being. It knows more than I ever realized. It has a Deep knowledge. It is deeply secure.

I ask this being to create a reality of ease. I want my conscious mind to still, and relax into this Being. This Being is as old as time. It doesn't worry, because its existence is secure. It knows and understands.

This Being is me. It is the true me, that's rooted amongst the trees. I must visit it, on occasion. And I want it to step into my being from time to time. To take possession with its spirit of quiet. It doesn't need all the hurry and the thoughts and the story and the words. It doesn't need words. It is more than words. It is Experience. It is Reality.

I want it to embrace my body and my mind and tell them I'm okay. That I can relax. That I can let go now. Because the Big Being is here to hold me and make sure everything is alright.

A Big Being made of earth. Of dark rich soil and loam. Of warmth. Of quiet. Of softness. A goddess of Earth. She takes me over. I am her now. The Earth goddess. Vast. Quiet. Secure.